Someone may appear to be one of the nicest and most selfless people you could ever hope to meet.
But hidden beneath the surface, there may likely be a simmering cauldron of conflict, rage, and resentment.
Like many women who are extreme people-pleasers, they find it impossibly difficult to say ‘No’, and she has an uncontrollable, almost obsessive need for the approval of others, irrespective of whether they are colleagues, family, friends or strangers.
Unfortunately, becoming a people-pleaser sets us on a path of becoming alienated from our innate, true self. The underlying belief is that who we are isn’t lovable. Instead, we idealize being loved as a means to self-worth and happiness to the point that we crave it. Our need to be accepted, understood, needed, and loved causes us to be compliant and self-effacing. We conclude, “If you love me, then I’m lovable.” “You” comes to mean just about everyone, except ourselves.
Virginia Satir: My Favorite Book…
Kelly Bryson’s Book recommended in the podcast:
Take a listen.